Things That Drive Me Crazy

18 Aug

Here is a list of things that, for no real reason other than my own fussiness, I hate. Surprisingly, I wrote this when I was in a good mood on a sunny Friday afternoon. It’s like I had to remind myself that, even though I was happy in that moment, there exists a world of crap to get my anger endorphins flowing. Yeah, I guess I’m just weird like that.

Wire hangers

Fighting to untangle a grouping of wire hangers is probably the closest I will ever come to a full-blown nervous breakdown. The last time we moved I exorcised them all from our home. They’re evil.

Team-building exercises

It’s not that I think I’m too cool for this shit. But I am. Everyone is.

Refilling ice cube trays

The perfectionist in me can’t ever be satisfied when the water level isn’t even on every cube slot. Even when I achieve water-level perfection, I dump some of it trying to balance the tray in the freezer. I can’t handle the defeat, so I just stopped trying.

When people ask a rhetorical question then say, “Yes, please!”

Cruelty-free vegan-soy organic cupcakes? Yes, please! It’s like a cliche but without the wit or pun. Just the cringing and overuse. It grates on my nerves like no other phrase can.

“Setting up”

Hauling around collapsable tables and chairs is not only physically taxing, but mentally, it’s hard to cope with how boring it is. There’s something about “setting up” that makes me want to jump out a window. I’ve often told Luc that my hell would be setting up a convention room with folding tables and chairs to do team-building exercises. And I would probably first have to work the coat check full of wire hangers.

Raisins in cookies

Even worse than a raisin in a cookie: a raisin in a cookie that you thought was a chocolate chip so you ate it.

Mixing the oil into natural peanut butter

Though I doubt many people enjoy this, I am certain few unravel at the task as quickly as I do. Again, it’s the gnawing perfectionist in me. As soon as the first drop of oil spills over the top of the jar, I begin to come undone. Knowing that I can never get the oil mixed with the peanut butter perfectly is almost too much to handle. I’m on the brink of ditching this task for good, much like I permanently gave up filling ice cube trays.

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